why is donkey kong not a donkey
i always read the word polish as polish at first
wait shit
(Source: shixn, via sleepingwithdildos)
why does sex have to result in babies why cant it result in pizza
“push, Helen! push!” she gives the last of her energy, and she hears it
the soft, tender sizzle of a freshly baked pizza
the doctor holds it up by the crust, carefully snipping off the little plastic table
“it’s a deep dish!”
what the hell is wrong with this website
We like pizza and not babies.
I’m going for a run everyone wish me luck
update: cars are all honking at me I don’t know why
no no no that definitely can’t be it
making a joke in front of a ton of people and having them all crack up is one if the most beautiful feelings you’ll ever feel don’t deny it
(via foreverstuckwithyou)
